So the Twin Flame Journey gets a Little Bumpy....

Ok, so here I am a couple of months later (feels like years) in full separation mode from my twin and Wow does that sting. No contact has drug every ounce of pain out of my heart and soul that I spent years drinking down (I'm a recovering alcoholic). I liken this to having my heart ripped out, tossed in a rushing river, down a waterfall, then smashed open on the rocks. May seem melodramatic, but damn this is not easy.  Every dark, sticky corridor of shame, embarrassment, rejection, unworthiness and loneliness has been revealing itself day in and day out. And, it doesn't care if you have appointments or obligations or custody issues or impending court dates or anything. That shit is going to come out one way or the other regardless of where you are or what your're doing. Hot tears, rage, red cheeked embarrassment and blinding fear just keep barreling out. I write and write and cry and write and for God's sake have to bust ass to stay sober through all of this. Nobody likes to feel the shit they medicated, but being a recovering starseed/lightworker/twin flame is a totally different ballgame. Regular folks do a personal inventory and yes face their shit, but it isn't drug out of them by being out of contact with the one person you love more than anything in the whole fucking universe. Not to mention that clearing past life pain  without the aid of my ex best friend alcohol is almost unconscionable. I assure you that there is nothing like seeing yourself locked in a castle room trying to slit your wrists because you were torn from your twin and imprisoned for years on end with yep, you guessed it, no contact of course because naturally there was no email or texting back then. So, yeah, this separation phase has really done a doozy on me, but I am sober and dear God I hope I'm reaching the end of the pain. I have faced my childhood trauma head on, my unbearable abandonment issues from my father dying and the disgusting truth about addiction and where that shit leads you. I've been used and abused and abused some more, but meeting my twin has inspired me beyond all compare and shown me that there is a light at the end of the dark matrix tunnel. So if feeling and clearing and healing all of these wounds is what it takes to be with my beloved again, then so be it, I'm up for this job. But, I highly suggest that you get some big boxes of tissue and fresh notebooks because there is nothing easy about this, but you can do it and live to tell about it! God knows I'm still hanging in there "knowing" that this is preparing us both for something magnificent and beautiful, even if my current reality is not showing signs of this yet.....it is coming, something big is brewing, and I'm ready to reap the rewards that will surely come from facing all of my painful junk once and for all!!